inreaction

so my mind is thinking. it’s horrible. i can’t think now, i just can’t.

it’s story time i guess.

–

Jean Paul was a charming kid of 22 years. If he was older, he’d be an alcoholic. But for now he’s a college student. Most stories about college student’s are about underage drinking, late nights of unprotected but somehow infertile sex, and mistakes that really don’t take much out of one’s life. Jean Paul’s, is not.

Jean Paul was the type of boy that people loved to hate. Truly loved to demise. They found his every achievement a result of other people falling for his scummy air of arrogance. Fools who fell for his faux non-swagger gave him promotions. But to his friends, Jean Paul was a tool. They’d seen him sleep with girls he knew he shouldn’t, and they’d seen him be wholly unable to control himself when he was feeling anything but on top of the world. Jean Paul’s story, his friends knew, was not one of a heartbreaker or a man even. It was a story of sustained difficulty, even in the face of great circumstances.

Jean Paul was in love. Madly in love. The type of love that takes great men and makes them whining, shaking idiots. But love …

–

edit, stolen from a friend named a.e.:

“

i’m nearly halfway through my last quarter at UCLA.  has it really been one month since my hopes for her and me had suddenly been cut by latent incongruities ignored in our beginning?  i realize that if we didn’t ignore them at the onset, i would never have explored the coves, the clubs, the diners, the restaurants, the parks, nor watched the movies, the shows, the concerts.  not with the same smile at least.  there are no regrets.

i just don’t know what to make of it. what to learn.  i thought i did, but the more i think about it the more confused i become.  if not for trying would we deprive ourselves of love knowing it were doomed from the beginning?

trying is trying is trying is trying and trying is working is working is working is working is marriage.  what is irreconcilable?  is there such a thing?  we say, you’re you and i’m me and some parts of you i hate and some parts of me you hate, but i love you nonetheless.  i’m yours forever.  what they don’t tell you is how complex that really is.  it’s a decision.

sometimes love is not enough.”