inreaction

sometimes it seems as though i loose touch with where i am.

ultra cliched. hackneyed. trite. worn out. but it happens, really.

i was driving down my street tonite on my way home. somewhere between the way the lights shined on the asphalt and the obviously intoxicated blonde couple that were suddenly inches from my front bumber [granted it's a short street], i realized that i complain in a manner highly disproportionate to my life’s ills.

again, not highly unique. most of us lead lives much easier than we pretend. but after watching transformers…kidding.

seems as though i’ve lost touch with my writing as well. instead i’m finding death from above 1979 lyrics touching. that must be a commentary on life.

Can you remember a time when this city was
A great place for architects and debutantes
A nice place for midwives and crossing guards
And on, and on…

Hold on children
Your best friend’s parents are leaving

[death from above 1979 - black history month]

i can’t do this tonite. maybe another nite.

lately i’ve wondered what it takes for one person to choose a major.

whether the choice appears more subtle–anthropology v. sociology–or drastic–pre med v. english–it seems as though there is some degree of arbitrary decision making that is based upon necessity: you have to choose a major.

i wish i could be a doctor. without going to med school. and knowing numbers.

i’ve also been thinking about the idea of celebrity. a sticky concept, that one is.

seems like either people want to be celebrities for the sake of being famous, or are celebrities and don’t want to be. or something. that was an intelligent thought…right…anyway.

even thought about pain and suffering and how easy life is. how inconsequential my actions are. but then i realized there are people whose lives are a/effected by my decisions. but it’s not the same. and if i major in english, it never will be the same.

i spent much of today in a hospital. it’s a place i’ve been quite a bit this year. today i saw kids flush with triple digit fevers,  broken arms, eye problems that sent me into flashbacks, and a veritable cornucopia of other ailments.

and i didn’t see any doctors. and i’ve had bad luck with ER doctors, as have my family members. but i was in a hospital, and i know it was a whir with nurses, technicians, and docs. and i felt grateful for them. for what they were doing for my grandpa. for how they dulled the pain of my eye.

hospitals are good reminders of how easy your life is. and how you should use it to do something good.

i guess i just want to do something that does something.